Chapter 5: Time and Faith
*SPOILER ALERT* I am writing this moments after I found out how many of the 8 embryos made it to full maturation…meaning they grew enough to be biopsied and frozen…we have 5!!!
As I mentioned previously, there is a lot of ups and downs mentally and emotionally during this week long wait period. On Day 3 post-surgery, you get an update on the growth. I had a text from the doctor saying I had:
One 10 cell, Four 8 cells, One 7 cell, Two 6 cells
The bigger the better at this point. So I was naturally really nervous about the two 6 cells. My doctor was amazing and said she thought these were great day 3 results and that the two 6 cells absolutely had a fighting chance. While I wanted to believe and trust her, I was also EXTREMELY hesitant because this was the exact point we got to last time…and that is where our journey ended.
The 10 cell, 8 cell and 6 cell we had the first round all stopped growing and it was devastating. But you can’t dwell on the past. I tried to tell myself that every day. The ONLY thing that gave me peace, was knowing that God works wonders if you let him; even in times of failure and defeat. Period. THAT is what kept me going. And THAT is what will keep me going.
Two days later I got an update that ONE made it to biopsy stage and FOUR were still being monitored and had a chance. So three dropped out of the race. By day 6, ALL 5 made it to biopsy and freezing!!!
It was a cool moment because I was with my mom when I found out. She had a huge accident and broke her hip a week prior, but I couldn’t fly to see her because I was too close to surgery date and didn’t want to give those eggs ANY reason to slow down. So I told her I would fly home right after surgery to see her. Turns out, recovery was MUCH more difficult than last time. I was sore, crampy, tired, nauseous and had random shooting pains that were painful.
Meanwhile, and part of the irony of it all, is that Joe and the Astros were clinching the division at that time. Of course they were. That is just our life. One trillion things going on at one time always:) haha. I loaded up on Tylenol Extra Strength and made it to the field to see the win, give him a big hug and kiss, and be on the field with him after the game for a photo. Then I went right back to the couch and to sleep.
I was in pain for a good four days before I felt like I could fly. Last time I had an egg retrieval, I flew the next day, worked in studio in Atlanta, then hosted half time of the NBA All-Star weekend in Charlotte! Ha!! Less eggs, less recover time, I guess??
I remember getting the news that none of the embryos made it to full maturation TEN MINUTES before I was supposed to welcome a packed arena and millions of viewers to our NBA All-Star Halftime Show presentation. Talk about mixed emotions. ‘Tis life. We can’t pick the timing. Or God’s plan. We have to just trust.
I finally got to fly to see my mom on the fourth day after surgery (which felt like a month). She was so excited, as was I. We both needed a little boost from each other! She found out her x-rays looked great and got the thumbs up to fly and I got the news that we had 5 chances at a baby! We were healing together 🙂
Now we wait…again…yes…it’s true… 20 more days until we find out if the biopsy shows healthy HD-free babies, or if we will get to do this ALLLLLL OVER AGAIN…Actually, we are going to wait until after the baseball playoffs to find out…so more like a month HOPEFULLY!! IF they keep winning games. Praying that God takes over. Promising that I will be at peace with whatever the future holds. Because that’s what faith really is.
